Additional Photos Of Carl

 Farm, South Dakota, perhaps 16 years old:

US Navy (US Coast Guard):

Ruth's Brother Don Provided A Little Background To Their Early Childhood And School

Letter from Don Flessner, Ruth's brother, dated November 10, 2020. This was written to me shortly after Ruth passed away. I was curious about Ruth's train rides from the farm / Fonda to her grandparents. See the letter. 

At the time this letter was written, I believe Don was 97 years old. 

The letter from Don:

I, Don, was born in a farm house near Palmer, Iowa in August, 1923.  The family moved to Fonda in the spring of 1928 when I was four years old.  Ruth was born while our parents lived on the Palmer farm.  I don’t know if she was born in the same farm house or elsewhere but she did live in that house in her first year.   I have no recollection of the Palmer farm or house.   

The railroad was on the back edge of our Fonda farm a city block or two from our house.  I recall the house had a glass panel in the upper half of the back door.  When I heard a train whistle, I would run to the door, stand on tiptoes and watch the train pass.  I was age five on my birthday in 1928 and started first grade in September.  I attended a one-room country school—one teacher with six or eight students of various ages in various grade levels.  I completed my first eight grades there.  The school was about a mile and one-half from home.  I walked it many times joining school mates along the way.

Ruth attended the same school in her early grades.  Our parents arranged for her to attend Fonda Public School later.  I don’t know when she transferred, perhaps, when I went into high school.  She completed grade and high school at Fonda Public Schools.

Fonda in perspective. 

Fonda is a typical midwestern town serving the surrounding farm community.  Population at that time was eleven or twelve hundred people.  It is located on an east/west highway between Sioux City and Fort Dodge in north-central Iowa.   Travel from an intersection on that highway (now Iowa 7) south through the residential area approximately three quarter of a mile to reach town center and the retail area—a city block or two in each direction at that time.  A branch line of the Illinois Central RR ran generally parallel to the highway in that area.  It is on the south edge of Fonda retail area and southern side of our farm land.  Two passenger trains and an occasional freight train passed through Fonda each day—Sioux City to/from Chicago-- one in mid-morning and the other in late evening.

Our Iowa farm was located about two miles west of the intersection leading into Fonda.  Manson was approximately twenty miles east of the same point.  Palmer, a small community,  was fifteen or so miles north and west of Manson and about the same North and East of Fonda.

Grandparents Flessner lived in Fonda so we visited them more frequently—usually with parents.  Grandparents Folkerts were twenty miles away.  In those years, that was a longer distance.  We visited with parents.  Ruth’s train visit memories puzzle me—It probably was between Fonda and Manson because the normal passenger train schedule would work very well.

Leaving the Farm. 

I graduated High School in May, 1941—before Pearl Harbor but with much turmoil in the world.  Military service was a near certainty for the boys graduating.  I was working in a local drug store during High School and continued after graduating.  One of my high school friends was doing a similar thing in another store.  We met at lunch frequently and made plans to go to Los Angles to earn ‘big’ money in the defense work.

The two of us, in his car, left the Iowa farm on a spring morning in 1942.  Ruth, our parents and the family dog waved us goodbye.  We arrived in Los Angles, found living accommodations and a job.  I enlisted in the CG in December.  Sometime after our departure, our parents and Ruth left the farm and moved into Fonda.  Ruth completed high school and entered nurse training.

 Prior to receiving the above letter, Don's daughter, Ruth's niece, Leslie sent me this note:

Ekke was born in Thomasborough IL, near Chicago.  Presumably Ekke's side of the family went to Illinois and spread west from there.  

If Ekke's parents were still in Illinois, that would have required a train ride. [The track went from Chicago, due west to Sioux City, Iowa, passing through Manson and Fonda.]

Dad was born in Palmer, due east of Storm Lake. Population 167 in the 2010 census.  😁  I understood Dad to say it was 1 mile north and 1 mile east of their farm.  Fonda is to the west and Storm Lake is further west.

The farm, which they leased, is on an iconic black macadam road with iconic corn fields, etc.  I saw it on several of my trips to IA with my family. When Ekke moved his family there, it was mostly a dusty square around the house. Dad (elementary age) planted saplings around the edge of the yard; he had to drag buckets of water to keep them growing, and grow they did, into mature trees. My last visit to Iowa was in 1990; Dad and I took my infant son to visit Reka. We drove past it then and the trees were still healthy. 

They had various livestock and a 1930s tractor. My dad [Don, Ruth's brother] won a county fair prize for Most Creative Rabbit Display when, not interested enough to do anything more, he simply dumped all his rabbits in a box and submitted them. (My son would do a similar stunt at a science fair 70 years later). Dad talks about snow drifts above the fences turning icy and pushing the pigs on their behinds across the ice, over the fence, and back to where they belonged. Essentially, bowling with hams. They had seasonal farmhands and Reka ran a tight ship. Ekke was a “veterinarian" through experience so he was able to care for the animals.  (Interesting fact, Ekke served in WWI as a veterinarian on board ship, tending to the horses, because he knew about livestock).

On one of Ruth's family trees there's a reference to a cousin Gilbert living on the farm with her and Don.  He doesn't remember this but Gilbert would've been younger than Don. When grilling my dad about his childhood memories with Ruth, he doesn't remember much. I understand this. I have a brother 4 years older, as Don was with Ruth, and my brother rarely deigned to notice me. He wasn't a jerk, he was just oblivious.   

Dad attended a one room schoolhouse through 8th grade, somewhere near the farm. Dad's family was still living on the farm when he graduated Fonda HS in 1941.  He went to a few high school reunions in the 90s and saw Ruth there.

In the spring of 1942 Dad moved to LA and 6 months later joined the Coast Guard. His story is exactly like your dad's.  

"I knew I was going to be drafted so I wanted to do it my way."  

Like your dad, he served on a troop transport in the Pacific and Atlantic. How cool is that, they did the same thing? After the war he used the GI bill to attend U of Minnesota, where he met my mom.

My mom did most of the talking in my parents' marriage. I knew all about her family heritage, even the things that weren't actually true.  But I knew very little about my dad's family.  I was therefore fascinated, also very proud of being progeny of immigrants, before it was cool to talk about. Since my mom died I've been peppering my dad with questions about his past. 

Ruth's Obituary In The Williston Herald -- September 22, 2020

 Ruth's obituary in The Williston Herald.

Gilbert Wessel -- Mom's Cousin -- Son Of Ruth's Aunt Edna and Uncle Roland

The Iowa Flessners must have been a tight-knit group of folks. Ruth mentioned by name, often, her aunts and uncles. On her mom's side, her mom Reka had two sisters and a brother:

• uncle Fred
• aunt Clara, died in the 1918 "Spanish" flu pandemic
  
• aunt Edna
  

Uncle Fred was married to aunt Laura, and they lived in Manson, IA.

Aunt Edna married Roland Wessel who was killed in a farm accident about 1936. Ruth would have been about nine years old. 

A "hired hand" rolled a tractor over Roland and he was dead on arrival at the hospital. They had a two-year-old son at the time: Gilbert, Gilbert Wessel. At about age two, Gilbert, came to live with Reka and Ekke, Don and Ruth. Ruth says she was nine years old at the time. Edna moved to Cedar Rapids to get her teaching degree.

I do not know if Edna moved back to the Manson/Pomeroy area after getting her teaching degree but subsequent information suggests she remained in Cedar Rapids where she raised her son Gilbert. See below.

Although I don't know where Roland and Edna had their farm, the fact that it was Reka and Ekke who took Gilbert in, it is likely that the Wessels lived nearby -- southwest of Palmer, north of Pomeroy. 

One of Ruth's daughters, Jan, says she remembers Ruth telling her that she (Ruth) moved in with Edna after graduation (probably high school) to help take care of the children. Edna's son Gilbert was two years old when his dad was killed in the farming accident; Edna was pregnant with Margaret Ann when Edna's husband was killed. At the time of Ruth’s graduation from high school, eight years later. Gilbert would have been about ten years old and Margaret Ann would have been about eight years old. For all intents and purposes, Ruth grew up with three siblings: brother Don and cousins Gilbert and Margaret Ann.

[earlier I wrote: if Ruth moved in with Edna after graduating from high school, about 1944, Gilbert would have been about eight years old and Margaret Ann about six years old.

Ruth talked often of Margaret Ann. I sometimes think Ruth's favorite "friend" was Margaret Ann, although I may be mixing her up with someone else. Ruth's cousin June was certainly another of her favorites. But it now makes sense. Mom would have had very fond memories of Margaret Ann. She would have been like a younger sister to Ruth, much like Yvonne and Jan, in terms of ages, and/or Arianna and Sophia.

But if so, it's an incredible heart-warming story. I can see a child's book in the offing if any of the great-grandchildren become authors looking for a story line.

Some data points:

• there is a Dr Gilbert Wessel, age 83 (downloaded September 21, 2020), link here;
  
• apparently still licensed to practice medicine in Cedar Rapids, IA. 
• if you recall, Ruth's aunt Edna had moved to Cedar Rapids to get her teaching degree;
  
• if 83 years of age in 2020 (?) he would have been born about 1937 which correlates well with the dates above
• he got his MD degree in 1963 (age 26 by my reckoning) from the University of Iowa College of Medicine, Iowa City, IA
  
• and so coincidentally, his cousin, Don, Ruth’s brother, with whom he went to live at age 2, also became an obstetrician

• a "Roland Wessel" died in Oelwein, IA, September 20, 2010, born in 1916; born in Colesburg;
• Colesburg is an hour east of Oelwein, IA
• Oelwein is about an hour east of Waverly, IA

From there, of course, one can explore the Wessel family in Iowa. It's quite interesting. But this could go on forever; I will quit for now.

From Ruth's Niece, Leslie Flessner -- September 20, 2020

In reply to some of my queries, Ruth's niece, daughter of Don, Ruth's older brother, Leslie sent me this e-mail note:

Ekke was born in Thomasborough IL, near Chicago.  Presumably Ekke's side of the family went to Illinois and spread west from there.  Does that sound right?  

If Ekke's parents were still in IL, that would have required a train ride.  Maybe?

Dad was born in Palmer, due east of Storm Lake.  Population 167 in the 2010 census.  😁  I understood Dad to say it was 1 mile north and 1 mile east of their farm.  Fonda is to the west and Storm Lake is further west.

The farm, which they leased, is on an iconic black macadam road with iconic corn fields.  I saw it on several of my trips to IA with my family.  When Ekke moved his family there, it was mostly a dusty square around the house.  Dad (elementary age) planted saplings around the edge of the yard; he had to drag buckets of water to keep them growing, and grow they did, into mature trees.  My last visit to IA was in 1990; Dad and I took my infant son to visit Reka.  [Reka died September 11, 1990.] We drove past it then and the trees were still healthy. 

They had various livestock and a 1930s tractor.  My dad won a county fair prize for Most Creative Rabbit Display when, not interested enough to do anything more, he simply dumped all his rabbits in a box and submitted them.  (My son would do a similar stunt at a science fair 70 years later).  Dad talks about snow drifts above the fences turning icy and pushing the pigs on their behinds across the ice, over the fence, and back to where they belonged.  Essentially, bowling with hams.  They had seasonal farmhands and Reka ran a tight ship.  Ekke was a" veterinarian" through experience so he was able to care for the animals.  (Interesting fact, Ekke served in WWI as a veterinarian on board ship, tending to the horses, because he knew about livestock).

On one of Ruth's family trees there's a reference to a cousin Gilbert living on the farm with her and Don.  He doesn't remember this but Gilbert would've been younger than him. When grilling my dad about his childhood memories with Ruth, he doesn't remember much.  I understand this.  I have a brother 4 years older, as Don was with Ruth, and my brother rarely deigned to notice me.  He wasn't a jerk, he was just oblivious.   

Dad attended a one room schoolhouse through 8th grade, somewhere near the farm;  Dad's family was still living on the farm when he graduated Fonda HS in 1941.  He went to a few HS reunions in the 90s and saw Ruth there.

In the spring of 1942 Dad moved to LA and 6 months later joined the Coast Guard.  His story is exactly like your dad's. [Carl Oksol]  "I knew I was going to be drafted so I wanted to do it my way."  Like your dad, he served on a troop transport in the Pacific and Atlantic.  How cool is that, they did the same thing?  After the war he used the GI bill to attend U of Minnesota, where he met my mom.

My mom did most of the talking in my parents' marriage.  I knew all about her family heritage, even the things that weren't actually true.  But I knew very little about my dad's family.  I was therefore fascinated, also very proud of being progeny of immigrants.  Before it was cool to talk about.  Since my mom died I've been peppering my dad with questions about his past. 

Notes: when one does a cursory internet search of "Flessner" and Thomasboro, IL, one finds a long, long list of Flessner names. It is obvious that the Flessner name was very, very common in that part of Illinois, south of Chicago and just a few miles north of Champaign, IL. 

It is interesting that there is a "Flessner Avenue" in Rantoul, IL, just north of Thomasboro.

Grandpa Ekke Flessner was born in Thomasboro, IL. 

Looking at the map, it is very, very obvious that there would have been a railroad line from Champaign, IL, to Sioux City, IA / Sioux Falls, SD. 

Maps Of Northwest Iowa With Towns Often Mentioned By Ruth -- September 21, 2020

 

Ruth Elaine Flessner: September 13, 1927 - September 7, 2020

Ruth passed away quietly and peacefully -- pretty much how she lived her entire life -- on the early morning of September 7, 2020, 5:15 a.m. Pacific Time, in a nursing home in Portland, OR. 

Born on September 13, 1927, she was just one week short of her 93rd birthday. She was never ill with Covid despite high rates of the disease in calendar year 2020.

After her last child left home, Ruth started spending more and more time at her beloved home on Flathead Lake, on Lakeshore Drive, with an unobstructed view of the lake, and the Mission Mountains on the other side of the lake. 

Between 1982 and 2004, Mom had not less than four homes often concurrently:

• Sioux Falls, SD: townhouse
• West Fargo, ND: apartment
• Williston, ND: family home
• Lakeside, MT: summer home

By 2015, Ruth had pretty much stopped her cross-country traveling and resided pretty-much permanently in Montana. That year, her youngest daughter, who watched Ruth as closely as Ruth had watched her own six children grow up, noted that mom really couldn't live out at the lake any more on her own.

With a bit of coaxing, Jan was able to get Ruth to a wonderful nursing home in Portland, OR, where Ruth would be close to Jan and her family, and close to Laura and Tim, one of Ruth's granddaughters and her family. 

Between 2015 and 2020, Mom's mind continued to deteriorate but she never completely lost all her memory for her children. 

Ruth had minimal physical problems throughout her life, never requiring any major medical care. She took care of herself physically and, with her nursing background, knew what to "watch out for." Around 2016 a biopsy revealed a very slow-growing lymphoma in her right axilla. Mom was about 90 years old at the time and the decision was made to leave the lymphoma alone. Ruth made it clearly known she did not want any further medical intervention regarding that small tumor.

Over time, the tumor grew in size, obstructing lymphatic return, resulting in a swollen right arm.

She received outstanding nursing care at the nursing home and there were days when she was doing mentally and physically very, very well, but in general, slowing down.

She was placed in hospice care at one time but improved and was discharged back to her regular retirement home status. 

Sometime in early 2020, she was placed back in hospice care due to her general physical and medical condition. 

In early September, 2020, it was clear to the nursing staff that Ruth might not be with us much longer, but as usual, Mom's history suggested she might surprise all of us.

On Labor Day weekend, Sunday, September 6, 2020, Ruth's hospice nurse telephoned Jan suggesting that Jan might want to see her mom. Jan could see this might be the last time her brother and sisters might get a chance to talk to Mom, so she called each of her siblings who in turn talked with Mom one last time. 

Jan said that Mom did smile when reminded that September was her birthday month and that she had celebrated many birthdays.

One daughter spoke of the weather, a subject mom always turned to when she wanted the conversation to change direction. No doubt, speaking of the weather was a most common activity when she was growing  up on the farm in northwest Iowa. 

During the night of September 6 - 7, 2020, the nursing staff checked in on mom hourly. At four a.m. she was sleeping peacefully and comfortably. At five-twenty a.m. when they came in to check her, she was found unresponsive. Official time of death will be recorded as 5:15 a.m. Pacific Time, September 7, 2020. 

Funeral arrangements are pending. A memorial service will be planned for a later date so we have time to reflect on all that Mom did for us. 

Ruth's husband, Carl, passed away in 2018; one of her six children, Craig, died way too soon, in 2011, as did one of her granddaughters, Kallie Ann, Yvonne and Terry's third child. 

Her other five children -- Jan, Kathy, Karla, Yvonne, and Bruce -- are all in good health; spread across the United States, all with healthy children of their own, and several great-grandchildren.

If you do want to send a card to the family, it would probably be easiest to send your thoughts to the family through Jan:

Jan Greenwald

292 Lakeshore Drive

Lakeside, MT 59922

Carl and Ruth

Undated; perhaps 30th Wedding Anniversary

 

Ruth, about 1948

Nursing Student, Sioux City, Iowa

 

Ruth

Graduation Photo?
Nursing Program, Sioux City, Iowa

Ruth was selected to represent her class

at the National Nurses Association Meeting

 

 Bruce, newborn, so this was Bismarck, ND, 1951

 

Ruth's brother Don
Age 97
Pennsylvania